I hold onto stuff. Lots of stuff. It's so hard for me to get rid of things. "But it's still good … " I think. "Someone can still use this … " I've said it too many times. The result? I have a lot of stuff. But thanks to "The Hillside Swap," I've managed to get rid of a lot. If you haven't heard of "The Hillside Swap," you've been missing out on one of the greenest efforts around. Held three times a year since the first one in December 2006, The Hillside Swap is an event where people can donate the things they no longer use but are still in good condition, and where anyone can come in and take…

My son had his first sleepover this week. His friend came to our house and spent the night. They played, fought, giggled, jumped on the bed and stayed up late. Eventually, they went to sleep … after being separated into different rooms. This weekend, I, too, had my first sleepover in a very long time. Myself and four friends spent the night in Manhattan. (Our "Jennifer" ratio is ridiculous: three out of five of us are Jennifers.) We played, giggled, gossiped, stayed up too late and eventually went to sleep … after being separated into different rooms. The boys had all sorts of things for the …

I interrupt my regular column to write to you from the snow fortress that is my home. Snow drifts are two- and three-feet high around our doors and windows. And worse is the wind, which is 40 to 50 mph in West Orange. Everyone up the eastern seaboard got hit but, this morning, CNN reported that New Jersey was "the bulls-eye" of the storm and that Newark reported 20 inches of snowfall. A snow day it is, then. We live up on a ridge, unsheltered from the wind, except for a thin line of trees a few yards from our building that separate our street from the ridge above I-280 below. We can see I-280…

My husband and I grew up with very different gift-giving rituals at Christmas. Luckily, we have two Christmases: One with my husband's family and one with my family. Room for his and hers traditions. To answer the "what do you want for Christmas" question, his side of the family efficiently uses Amazon wish lists and passes around want lists by email. My side asks each other what we would like, then we either get the best-of-the-best version of that thing or, more fun, we take that information and go off-listing and try to think of something that we think the person would like, but wouldn't …

The annual opening of the boxes of Christmas ornaments I've collected over the years has become like pulling out old photographs and revisiting years' worth of memories. Although I didn't mean to, my saving ornaments has added up to nothing less than a family and personal history in glitter and glass. Ornaments from other family collections are now part of mine. Not that they are precious or pricey, but some of these ordinary ornaments from years ago have come to be the last tangible trinket from a particular time and place. Digging through the box is like digging through a family time …

You might expect a column about gratitude the week right after Thanksgiving. I certainly have a lot to be thankful for, but instead of using the Thanksgiving moment to reflect, I choose to do as Macy's and NBC do: I choose to use Thanksgiving to hype Christmas. When I was a kid, I soaked up all the hype I could from television. My sister and I got ourselves into a holiday frenzy watching everything that '70s TV had to offer. The viewing began with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade, then we watched each holiday classic we had circled in the TV Guide. We watched all the standards: "How the …

In early September, I booked my son's mid-November birthday party. I thought I was doing it right on schedule — even early. No. The place was already almost booked up. Luckily, I got a spot.  My son's first birthday was easy. We had a nice little family-and-friends party at the house. They could crawl and run and play and fall and cry all within one or two rooms. Now, at ages 3, 4, 5, forget it. They're too big, too independent and too wild to have a party at our place. Now they run off and it's the silence, not the noise that indicates disaster looming. For his second birthday, I thought my …

This Halloween was different than others. I wasn't the tot, being shepherded by my parents; I wasn't the kid, owning the neighborhood with my friends; I wasn't the teenager, too cool for all of it. I wasn't the 20-something, going out in the city; I wasn't even the new mom, dressing my son in an adorable costume of my choice and proudly chauffeuring him around in his stroller. This year, I was the mom of the preschooler who has his own ideas of costumes, for us and for him; his own ideas of Halloween and definitely his own idea of how much candy is enough. Halloween this year was a five-day-…

As a life-long apartment dweller, I never realized that the structures I lived in had feet of clay. When I rented an apartment and something needed fixing, I had only to call the landlord, who would (eventually) fix those mysterious things that happen behind the walls, in the pipes and under the floors. It was easy: I complain; the landlord would perform the least expensive fix possible. We knew our roles; it was a very clear-cut relationship. When my husband and I wanted to move to New Jersey, we were both a little nervous about taking on the full, unguided responsibility of a house, so we …

For our seventh wedding anniversary, I wanted to go somewhere with my husband for a nice dinner where we could also listen to some music. I asked around for suggestions, but my question seemed to leave everyone stumped. I asked a friend, who plays jazz occasionally, if she could recommend something. After thinking for a moment, she asked her friend, "What about that place I played last weekend?" "No, that was a fluke. Usually the music there is awful," he said. I told her that we had tried Cecil's a few times, but thought that the food wasn't that good. She looked horrified. "No, it's not," …

I'm embarrassed to say that my son is almost four and my husband and I have yet to get away overnight together … alone. We've had excuses, mostly financial, partly logistical. We're finally going to do it, though. It will take two grandmothers, one aunt, a friend, a play date, lots of Nick Jr. on Demand and I-don't-care-how-much ice cream to get this off the ground. It's even more complicated than trying to coordinate our blended-family Christmas celebrations. This will be something, if we can pull it off. I asked my husband where he would like to go for two days. A bed and breakfast? A hotel…

Now that my son is back in school, I have the opportunity to enjoy some time to myself. But first, the to-do list: get the house organized; clean out abandoned toys; get started on or finish those home deco projects I've had hanging around; grocery shop without the giant fire truck/police car shopping cart that only makes wide turns; and maybe, just maybe, get my nails done. Well, that was the plan, anyway. Instead, I've discovered a wonderful world of Mommy Play Dates. Mommies need play dates, too. We need to compare notes, share strategies and laugh at ourselves. I know I need the support …

Ask any woman about her hair and she's likely to tell you her own personal, never-ending quest for the "right" haircut and the "right" hair color. If we're lucky enough, we'll see glimpses of that perfect 'do at least once or twice in a lifetime, I'm hopeful on the day of a big event. Of course I don't have the time or money to keep up color and highlights on my ever-graying hair … I'm a mom. Aren't I supposed to have a ponytail? Do I get kicked out of the playground if I don't? I tried so hard not to do ponytails. But it's hard to see when you are always bending down chasing a toddler. I …

If you have kids, you get asked a lot of questions. "Mommy, why do bees sting?" "Why are there two boys named Oliver in my class?" "Daddy, where do butterflies go in winter?" But some questions are tougher than others. Recently, my husband and I were faced with having to explain to our three-year-old the decision to euthanize our family cat. We ran to the Internet and the library for advice on what to say. Online we found "Helping Children Cope with a Pet's Euthanasia" by Martha M. Tousley, APRN, BC, FT, to be the article most clear and straightforward. Tousley advises answering children …