shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with
all your might. Take to heart these instructions with which I charge you this
day. Impress them upon your children. Recite them when you stay at home and when you are
away, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand
and let them serve as a symbol on your forehead; inscribe them on the doorposts
of your house and on your gates."
words above are sacred to me. They, combined, form a prayer. And today, I
realize more than ever, the importance of impressing certain knowldege and
"instructions" on our children. I also have experienced the result and tragedy
of what occurs when there is a lack of impression....and instruction is
sabatoged. When the wrong impression is left as a stain for the
I wonder how much different my life would be, and the
lives of my sons, if their education throughout the public school system of
Byram Hills would have included educating children about domestic violence.
Located in the Bedford-Armonk community in Westchester County , New York, I
realize that back in the 1990's there were no workshops nor lectures for our
children regarding the setting of boundaries - physical, emotional, nor
psychological boundaries. If children were raised in a violent and controlling
environment, how would they know any different? How would they know how wrong
As the mother of two boys, I write this blog entry
with a great deal of shame. What my sons were witness to during their
youths...no child should have to see. As a victim of domestic violence, I did
the best I could to protect them. But when their father would sporadically hit
me, it wasn't like I could ask him to take it to another room. Many times, most
times - my children were present.
Schools have guidance counselors and in high school,
many are focused on careers and furthering education. I hope things are
different than they were years ago - and the men and women trained to guide our
children through their years also look for signs when something may be a bit
off. I can only wish my sons' guidance counselor had heard me when I reached
out to him about what was going on in our home. This high school
professional was too intimidated by my ex husband. Obviously untrained in the
fields of parental alienation and domestic violence, the guidance counselor did
not want to get involved with my sons' personal lives. Should he have taken
that extra step, I believe it would certainly have made a difference today.
My sons did not know differently. Not even when I
told them. They did not want to believe that the things they saw were wrong,
bad....and against the law.
to read more, go to www.untilyousayuncle.blogspot.com